“Well, I do like Maria, but I can’t say that I trust her. I knew her from another business enterprise, and while she didn’t do anything sinister, there’s something about her that I simply don’t trust.”
How many times have you felt this way about a colleague, peer, or manager?
Trust cannot be directly created. It is a byproduct of specific conditions and behaviors. Lack of trust contributes greatly to general unhappiness in the workplace.
In order to effectively work with you, colleagues need to Know, Like and Trust you. I call it the KLT factor. It isn’t about being warm and fuzzy, but it is about being an approachable human being who is consistent in her words, actions and deeds. These are among the qualities that build and convey trust.
Below are six common ways in which mistrust is created. If you are consistently guilty of any of these, changing your behavior will help to turn the tide of trust in your favor.
I Can’t Hear You
Reading between the lines this actually means, “I don’t want to hear you.” This can be construed as arrogant and uncaring. Being unable to engage in the simple art of listening effectively leaves you lost in your own one-dimensional world. Because everyone wants to be heard! This is a basic human desire. Pause, listen, say nothing until the other person has finished speaking. You need not integrate everything another person is saying into your plan or process, but it is still a sign of respect to pause and listen.
Deer in the Headlights
When a situation or opportunity arises, that calls for action, and you fail to take any action, one way or another you are perceived as ineffective, fearful and potentially disconnected from the wants, needs and desires of those around you – including yourself. It is important to be seen as engaged and active when correcting a problem. Consider your options before taking any action. Remember, it’s more powerful to take “action” than to simply be “reactive” for the sake of being in motion.
Being Debbie Downer
Without hope, there is no way anyone, including you, your team, prospects, clients and/or vendors, will ever be able to see the potential for your role as positive on their team or affiliation. Being overly negative will leave you alone and isolated. Others want to be inspired by another who can see beyond what is in front of them and past any obstacles that may arise. Hope is contagious. Start spreading it.
Failure to Enlist Advice or Input
When the people around you are running the other way or hiding their work, it’s a sure sign that they know you’re not open to input. Collaboration is not part of your style. Masterminding and think tanks have long been a successful part of the business problem-solving world. Seek wise counsel rather than the opinions of others. There is a difference!
The inability to see other perspectives, points of view or solutions puts you in a position of always needing to be right. Allow for the possibility that you may not have all the pieces to the puzzle and it’s actually ok. You are not required to know everything.
Loose Lips Really Do Sink Ships
If you are talking about sensitive issues that were shared with you in confidence, then you’ve placed yourself in a position of being perceived as someone who betrays others and definitely cannot be trusted. Don’t do it. Period.
About the Author
Maria Gamb served for 20-plus years as an executive in businesses valued at upwards of 100 million dollars. She is founder/CEO of NMS Communications, where she helps executives and entrepreneurs claim their ability to lead profitable, innovative and effective businesses. Maria is also the Amazon best selling author of Healing the Corporate World. She’s the host of the Value 2 Vision Retreat. Find out more about Maria Gamb at www.mariagamb.com