A key to successfully selling a product, service, or idea is to ask questions and then listen quietly and carefully to the answers. Many of us try too hard to convince people to buy, instead of discovering what our customers or clients really want, need and desire from us.

Building win-win relationships requires remembering that it is not about what we want, but what the other person wants. Here are three relationship-building skills that, when used regularly, can help you increase sales and create satisfied, loyal customers. Remember, S-E-A.

1. Sincerity: Listen sincerely and without an agenda.

The buying process is not about you or your wants and needs, it is about the customer. Too many of us come to the sales table with our own agenda. We are busy thinking about quotas, promotions and commissions. It’s not about us, it’s about the wants, needs and expectations of the prospective buyer.

A salesperson with an agenda tends to push too hard and often doesn’t listen well. Leave your agenda at home. Sincerely focus on your customer and how your product can best serve their hopes, dreams and goals. Zig Ziglar said it best: “You can have everything in life that you want if you just give enough other people what they want.”

2. Ethics: Don’t try to talk the buyer into anything.

Allow buyers to make their own decisions. Doing what is right for everyone involved is simply good ethics. I’m reminded of a phrase from Dale Carnegie’s book, How To Win Friends and Influence People: “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.”

Your role in the sales process is to present your product in a clear, concise and truthful manner—with integrity. The best customer is the one who can make an educated decision based on what is right for them. A loyal customer is an educated customer. You are not in the convincing business, you are in the sharing business. Your job is to offer the product, service or idea, explain the benefits and answer questions. Your customer or client will then make a buying decision based on the information received. Making the sale involves asking questions, answering questions and building a trusting win-win relationship.

3. Asking: Find out what your client wants, needs and expects from the purchase.

Sometimes, we are so excited to share everything we know about what we’re offering that we forget to inquire about the customer’s expectations. What is important to you may not be important to them.

I’m reminded of a story: A young mother just starting out in a large network-marketing company was eager to share her business with other stay-at-home mothers. She and a potential recruit were having coffee as their children played nearby. The young mother was eagerly displaying her products and explaining the business potential. She went on and on about how the potential recruit could stay home with her children and not have to leave the house to conduct business.

The recipient of this barrage suddenly seemed to switch off her interest and attention. When our eager young mother invited the recruit to join the network-marketing business, the recruit responded with a resounding, “No.” Shocked and saddened, the young mother asked, “Why?” “Because,” the recruit said, “I want to do something that allows me to get out of the house and socialize with other adults.” Moral of the story: Ask questions and listen. Don’t assume that what is important to you is important to your customer.

Successful selling isn’t about what you want, it is about how can you best serve the needs of your customers and clients. Having a sincere desire to be of service will help increase your sales and develop a loyal client and referral base.

By keeping in mind the three elements of SEA (Sincerity, Ethics, Asking), you will more easily find new customers or clients who want to do business with you, now and in the future. Selling your service, product or idea is about doing the right thing for everyone involved. It is about building win-win relationships.

About the Author

Sharon Michaels is a business coach and the author of How to Give Yourself the Power to Succeed(EmPOWERing Publications, 1996). She produces and hosts the weekly radio show, Women Enjoying Success, interviewing and sharing the strategies of self-made successful women. Learn more at: http://www.SharonMichaels.com/powertosucceed , check out her weekly Ezine, Unlimited Success for Women and visit her website at http://www.sharonmichaels.com

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