Walking into a room full of people, especially strangers, is daunting for 93 percent of American adults, according to the Stanford Shyness Clinic. Yet, our careers, businesses and social lives are enhanced by our ability to create visibility as we meet, mingle, interact and make connections.

I have been asked numerous times, "Who is better at this, men or women?" My answer always is that women are better. We are more interactive. We will go over to the person standing alone, even if we ourselves are nervous, and try to make that person comfortable. Because we generally are the keepers of relationships, we will introduce people to one another and help them get a conversation started. But there are exceptions; for example, when there are few other women, and the men seem to be in cliques of longtime associates, or the stories being told are "not our cup of tea."

When we hear stories, jokes or comments that don't appeal to us, we can change the subject, just give that "look" (the one I used as a sixth grade teacher when the students were out of line) or offer a telling silence. This isn't the time for the lecture or admonition. Another option is to excuse yourself and find a more fitting group.

Working a room involves circulating, connecting and conversing with a number of people. We build rapport and begin to build the trust that is the foundation of any business or personal relationship. And then the networking begins, as that is the followup that cements our connections.

Before you attend any event, do some due diligence. It's so easy to do that today. Just visit the website, read any literature, do a search and pay attention to the group's goals, mission and members. Read the local and a national paper and prepare three to five items to talk about with the other people. You may not need the items but at least you have them in your "banter" back pocket book. Be ready to listen because people tell us what they want to discuss. We often are not listening and then wonder what to say next.

The venue, event theme, and location all offer grist for jumpstarting a conversation. It will sound like small talk at first. Get over any negative attitudes about small talk—it's the predominant kind of talking you'll do. Sir Alex Korda, a legendary producer said, "A bore is someone without any small talk." When we start small, then we magically move to topics of greater importance. We bond more easily when we are having relaxed conversations: a similar taste in movies, daughters on the soccer team or an interest in wines or gourmet food. Once we find that magical connector the conversation shifts and the connection is solidified.

These eight strategies will work for you in any room.

1. Read name tags.

As you extend your hand and introduce yourself, use the person's name. Name tags provide material for conversation about that person. Wear yours on the right hand side—the line of sight with an extended handshake.

2. Reintroduce yourself to people.

If you forgot their name, most likely they forgot yours. People generally respond in kind and then no one has to struggle with forgotten names. Come prepared with a 7 to 9-second pleasantry that is tied to the event. Practice it so that it slips off your tongue easily.

3. Look for the white-knuckled drinker.

Whether it's club soda or wine, the shy, uncomfortable person tightly gripping his or her glass will welcome your conversation.

4. Attend events with a "buddy."

Choose someone in a non-competitive field and cross-promote as you introduce one another.

5. Choose a companion who will introduce you with the enthusiasm.

And avoid being "velcroed" together. People won't interrupt a couple who appear to be involved in a conversation.

6. Extricate and circulate.

According to Miss Manners, one must learn to end conversations. "Well it was great to talk to you about…." Summarize the main thrust of your chat and then move about one-quarter of the room away. No sense in standing in the same area near the person you just left. Find another solo, or join a group. Stand on the periphery of the group and when acknowledged, step in.

7. Allow for serendipity.

Be alert for that unexpected bonus that occasionally occurs because of good timing. Because . . . "Ya Never Know!" which is my theory of marketing, meeting and mingling.

8. Have fun!

Most of us are attracted to people who enjoy themselves. A sense of humor will help you manage and survive myriad situations. Laughter is a great medicine.

BONUS Tip:

Leave your tools and toys of technology out of sight or in the off or vibrate position. The message you give when you "work" a room with your Bluetooth attached to your ear is that no one you are talking to is as important as whoever may phone. That leaves an impression but not the one you may want to make.

To be avoided at all costs: Here are some of the behaviors that readers of my books have found annoying. Avoid them in any room: complaining, interrupting, one-upping, correcting, using sarcasm, hogging the floor, telling way too many jokes, interrogating (too many questions sound suspect).

About the Author

Susan RoAne, an in-demand keynote speaker, is the author of Face To Face: How To Reclaim the Personal Touch in a Digital World and five other best-selling books. She is The Mingling Maven® who teaches people how to make small talk that yields big rewards. To learn more, visit her website or email:  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .