(Return to main article, "The Reality of Balance," by Dr. Brenda Wilkins)
You may also be interested in Balancing Work & Everything Else and Work-Life Balance Resources.

Be inspired and moved to action when you hear the true stories of the balance mavericks below. The vignettes show how married couples, and single women have struck a balance. These are not “a day in the life” snapshots, but scenarios that span years, sometimes decades, showing that careful attention to values, priorities, needs, and dreams can work together to create balance.

Couples

Mediating the Fast Lane
Picture two professional parents and two young kids thriving in the chaos of Seattle. It could be “any-city USA,” where a two-income family struggles with the infinite details of parenting, career management, and leisure moments; careening through life with the ones they love in search of the American dream. In a radical departure from the status quo, they have taken control. Capitalizing on career opportunities at CIGNA, Sylvia is the family’s primary financial force. Supporting the vision, Mark is the primary parental force taking care of the kids at home. Sylvia’s father also lives with them. They have combined their resources and built a house that supports their extended family. Their tough choices enable them to negotiate the complexities of living in the fast lane with maximum flexibility.

Sustainable Simplicity
David and Beth know exactly who they are and what they strive for. In this family the profession of choice is parenting. Both parents have chosen part-time work with flexibility as the primary benefit. While this choice has meant sacrificing some luxuries, they have everything they need. The result is children whose parents are available – always. Freedom and focus on children are the motivators that sustain simplicity in how they work and live. It’s not a choice everyone can make, but for them it’s a winning combination.

Rural Relocation
She worked at Microsoft, he at Traveling Software—booming careers, a growing family, and change on the horizon. Leaving careers behind, Todd and Denise returned to their Montana roots to build a software training business. Today their work schedules are flexible, they manage dual demands around the ebb and flow of their business, take a month off to enjoy Montana summers, volunteer in the community, spend time with extended families, and chauffer their school age children too and from activities. Balance for them is described in two words, “Montana and flexibility.” It works.

Big City Balance
She’s a college professor, he works in the hospitality industry. Their careers require a dedication to big city living. They each have children from a prior marriage. Her two daughters live with them, while his daughter visits when she can. They’ve structured their life so Mark can work at home, and Laura has enough flexibility to manage the house, run carpool, and negotiate the children’s visitations with their other parents. Life is full and hectic, but they are able to keep the focus on their children, and steer their professions to advance and excel. As a dual income family, they achieve balance by maximizing their flexibility.

Singles

Beating the Odds
Take a young bride with no college education. Give her three kids, one disabled, and a dead-beat husband, and in most cases you’d have a formula for heartache. Not here. Anna Marie beat the odds. After her husband left, she got her university degree, started a professional career, and fell in love with her soon-to-be husband. To beat the odds, she set strict boundaries, including rigid household budgeting, date nights with her children, and uninterrupted study time at school. Her life is a complex juggling act to most outsiders, but she provides for her family, takes time for herself, spends one-on-one time with each child, is remodeling a recently purchased home, and preparing for a wedding. There is rarely a moment when she is not on her feet working, but the work protects and nurtures her priorities and so there is balance.

Late Bloomer
Over 15 years ago, this stay-at-home mom found herself husband-less. With an outdated college degree and three mouths to feed she chose a flexible real estate career and today is a success by anyone’s standards. Verna has a booming business, built while she raised three children to adulthood and through their educations. She is surrounded by family and friends, and takes time for herself. To create balance, a support system of family and friends has been one of her greatest assets. There were times when balance was characterized by frenetic focus on the challenge at hand, but the long-term journey has resulted in a life of professional, personal, and relational success. These days you might find her taking time out for an afternoon of movies or time at the spa, and she’s earned it.

Tragedy Transformed
Mary’s oldest child of five was 12 when her husband died. Balance, maybe even survival, would have been impossible for this young mother without the unwavering support of her parents and family. Mary returned to college and supported her family as a teacher till her retirement. The flexibility to meet the children’s needs came not only from her work, but the contribution of Mary’s parents on a daily basis. Sometimes balance can only be achieved when others help, and this is one of those cases. With continual support Mary was able to financially support her children, knowing her support system was available at home whenever she wasn’t. She also knew there were times to rest, celebrate, and renew because family members were there to provide relief.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Brenda Wilkins,
President, Big Sky Learning Institute ~ Leadership & Learning, has studied, written, and conducted workshops and retreats about balance since 1992. You may reach her at bmwilkins@earthlink.net.