Boosting
self confidence is one of the most common personal
goals shared by my private coaching clients. Believe
it or not, most professional women don't have very
high self confidence — even when they appear
as if they do. Most women are caught in an ongoing
wrestling match with their inner critic. You are probably
familiar with your own inner critic — that nagging
voice that tells you you're not good enough, smart
enough, strong enough, etc.
When
I first started coaching women one-on-one, I was hit
full force with the universality of the inner critic.
I was struck by the strangle hold it has on just about
everyone. I, of course, was well acquainted with my
own inner critic, but never dreamed that everyone
else's was just as loud and menacing.
On
the one hand, this was a relief to me personally because
I now had proof that even the most seemingly together,
smart and accomplished individuals shared similar
fears. However, I was dismayed by the enormous amount
of negative self-talk women allow to invade their
inner life.
In
response to this phenomenon, I have made it part of
my mission to educate women that the inner critic
is universal — it lives in each of us. And for
some, it can be relentlessly persistent.
Here
is what I know to be true:
1) Everyone feels inadequate at least
some of the time
2) Everyone is afraid at least some of the time
Have
you ever realized that someone you thought was supremely
confident actually had self-doubts? I had this experience
when I
saw an interview with the award-winning actress Meryl
Streep. She
said that when she is about to embark on a new movie
shoot, she
often has strong feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
She said thoughts swirl around her head such as: "I'm
not a good actress" and "What am I doing?
I'll never be able to pull this off."
I
was shocked when I heard this. Meryl Streep is considered
by many to be the greatest film actress alive today.
She has played the leading role in some of the best
movies ever made.
Streep
shared her strategy for overcoming self-doubt: "Fake
it till you
make it." In other words, feel the fear and do
it anyway. She says she shows up at the film set and
gives it her all. She does not let her self-doubt
and inner critic paralyze her. She walks into the
fear, which subsequently allows her to walk through
the fear and do her best work.
The
most effective way to project confidence is to act
as if you are confident. Even if you're not feeling
confident, it is okay to act as if you're brimming
with confidence. Trust me, this is the strategy used
by most people you encounter throughout a typical
work day. The majority of people are insecure individuals
acting as if they are secure. They are just stepping
into their fear.
Stop
fueling your inner critic with self-made poison. Start
encouraging and energizing yourself with positive
self-talk and boost your own self confidence.
If
it works for Meryl Streep, it can work for you, too!
Maret
McCoy is an Executive Coach for Women. She
helps profession women strategically manage their
careers
and obtain the recognition and rewards they deserve.
For more career success articles, a complimentary
e-zine and
information on other resources and services for women,
visit www.MaretMcCoy.com.