Free Coaching Lesson

The Infinite Triangle
Finding Balance Between Self,
Others and Spirit

The number of women in the workplace has increased tremendously over the past 20 years, and a growing plurality of those women share a common concern: how do I balance taking care of myself, others and spirit? When a woman attempts to operate from within a chaotic lifestyle, it affects her well-being, wellness, friends and family relationships. To create a sense of balance in your life and to find what works for others, follow the tips outlined below. First, let’s explore what being fully connected means.

What Does Being Connected to Self, Others and Spirit Mean?

Being connected means you understand your values, morals, and goals. It can also mean you understand who you are and who you want to be.

On the infinite triangle—Self, Others, Spirit— women are focused on others most of the time. Serving is the number one way in which women are connected to others. From the moment you wake up, you may be attending to children, handling employees and co-workers, and then serving the family again when you return home.

Finally, being connected to spirit is really about attempting to discover personal enlightenment. Ask yourself what this means to you. Common responses are: understanding the universe, having faith in a higher being, and achieving peace and joy.

Follow these steps to create your balance.

Do What You Love

Getting a clear vision of your commitment to self, others and spirit is the number one way to start creating balance in your life. You now have a path to follow. You will notice that you spend more time doing the things you love and less time worrying about the things that don’t really matter.

Having a clear path lessens unwanted anxiety and drama. In interviewing women, I asked, “Which part of the Infinite Triangle do you wish you had less of?” I found that 100 percent of women said they wish they had less “other” time so they could devote more time to self and spirit. Start getting rid of unwanted burdens and delegate the things that you don’t really want to do.

Second, if you have a clear vision, it will be easier for the universe to give you what you want. Have you ever heard of the Law of Attraction? The Law of Attraction states simply that you attract what you think about most. Look at the world as if it were your candy store. What do you really want?

Make Time

Most people approach time with the idea that there’s never enough of it. I don’t recommend jumping feet first into a huge change, but start by assuming you have just enough time. Use a day planner with a format that works for you. Schedule10 minutes of “you time,” “other time” and “spiritual time,” and then increase from there.

Also, start taking advantage of the people who offer to help: grandparents, friends, relatives and the teenage neighbor who offers to baby-sit. Let the Ms. Independent-I-Can-Do-It-Myself attitude go. Remember the airplane rule: Place your oxygen mask on yourself before assisting others. The same rule applies to your life. If you don’t take care of yourself first you won’t be fully available to help others.

Educate Yourself

There are many tools that can support you in creating balance. An abundance of information is available: self improvement books, free classes, teleconferences, blog spots, workshops and seminars. Ask others how they successfully create balance. People love talking about themselves and are usually willing to share their wins.

Education will make you a more well-rounded person. Do you ever get sick of listening to certain people complain about their busy lives? Imagine sharing with people information that actually moves, shakes and inspires them. Soon enough, people will want to be just like you!

Surround Yourself With People Who Have Made It

Have you ever heard the expression “Fake it till you make it” or “Birds of a feather flock together”? I suggest adopting these maxims in every area of your life. As soon as you begin to surround yourself with people whom you admire, the same traits will start showing up in your own life.

I learned this lesson not too long ago myself. I was with my good friend (whom I’d known since kindergarten) and I couldn’t help noticing how peaceful her life seemed. The things I admired most were her relationship with her husband, her commitment to her spiritual group, and her ability to juggle a new business. So I started spending more time with her. Before I knew it, I had my own spiritual group, business, and a better relationship with my partner!

See Every Connection As A Pathway to the Others

Connections to the spirit and self also lead to connections with others.

Remember, connecting to others can mean taking care of your family, volunteering and allowing yourself to be served. When I am in service to others, I feel good and am filled with gratitude.

Second, spirituality creates a connection to others. If it is peace and tranquility that you seek, then you will find it in others. For example, if you walk around thinking men are fabulous, what do you think will show up in your life? Fabulous men! Our minds have a funny way of gathering evidence to support our beliefs.

Finally, out of all the women I interviewed, only 10 percent put spirit first. If the divine is in all of us, think how much more connected you will feel when you explore the divine. When you create a connection to yourself, you not only have time for the other two, but you gain greater energy and focus. Put your oxygen mask on first. It will allow you to have more life, liberation and time!

Action steps:

1. Get a day planner that works for you. Start by scheduling 10 minutes a day for each part of the Infinite Triangle: self, others and spirit.

2. Create a well-being tracking sheet of 10 things you would like to do every day for yourself.

3. Create a resource list of people you can count on if you need a favor.

4. Practice saying “NO.”

5. Read an intriguing book that captures your attention.