Identifying
and Overcoming Your Blocks
Coach:
Jenn Givler
And
the day came when the risk it took to remain tight
inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took
to blossom.
—Anais Nin
Three
things can hold us back from achieving our goals.
The first is fear, the second is procrastination,
and the third is the belief that we cannot achieve
what we want.
Let’s
take a look at these three blocks and develop ways
to overcome each of them.
GETTING
OVER FEAR
Fear
is a natural part of attempting anything new. There
are some positives to fear. It can make you slow down
and really look at the decisions you are making –
to ensure that those decisions are sound and are the
best ones for you.
Fear
also serves to protect you from danger. For example,
some people fear driving too fast because it might
cause an accident. However, fear can also paralyze
us into inaction.
Fear
can come from a multitude of places, but most commonly
it’s from:
If
you’ve had an unpleasant experience in your
life, you may feel fear when similar circumstances
come up. We’ve all experienced rejection. We’ve
all felt embarrassed. These emotions are unpleasant.
Fear of such feelings can lead us to avoid situations
that might provoke them. For example, picture someone
that is about to give a speech. If that person falls
on the way up to the podium, she is likely to feel
embarrassed. In the future, her fear of similarly
embarrassing mishaps might stop her from accepting
speaking engagements.
Sometimes
we create fear by imagining worst-case scenarios.
Let’s say you accept a project that you are
confident you can successfully complete, even though
you have little experience in relevant areas. Later,
you begin to feel anxious when you start imagining
negative outcomes.
Think
about the vision you have for your life. What is your
ultimate vision of success? What is holding you back
from living that vision? Do you think fear is keeping
you from achieving it?
Three
Strategies:
1.
Imagine yourself about to take a big step toward your
ultimate goal of success. What feelings come
up for you? Resistance? Hesitation? Do you automatically
start thinking of excuses as to why you can’t
move forward?
2.
Jot down all the feelings that come up for you as
you imagine yourself taking this step. Don’t
push the feelings down – allow them space and
identify exactly where they are coming from. Did a
past experience contribute to this fear? Did you watch
someone else go through something similar? Are you
picturing worst-case scenarios?
3.
Make a list of the pros and cons of taking the action
vs. not taking the action.
Write
down your emotions so that you can see everything
on paper. Writing gives your ideas a kind of reality,
and you can look at whether your fear is rational
or irrational. Writing also provides a vehicle through
which to experience your emotions, and to make a plan
for breaking through the fear and moving toward your
goal.
BREAKING
OUT OF PROCRASTINATION
A
common behavior that can keep us from moving forward
is procrastination. Procrastination has many causes.
Many times it is rooted in fear. Other times we procrastinate
because we have too much going on and can’t
bear the thought of one more thing to do. Or, we may
procrastinate because we don’t have the necessary
information or tools to complete the task, or because
we simply have no interest in the task.
Three
strategies:
1.
When you realize that you are procrastinating, take
some time to discover the reasons you are avoiding
or delaying. Recognize that procrastination
is going to keep you from achieving your goals. The
longer you procrastinate, the more stressful the task
becomes.
2.
Map out a plan for your project. Write down
all of the steps necessary to complete the project
and describe how you will complete them. Creating
and referring to an overview of the project may be
enough to start you on your way.
3.
Once you’ve mapped out a plan, if you are still
immobile, take just one small step toward the plan’s
completion. Chances are that will inspire
you to work a bit more. Another thing to try is setting
a timer. Tell yourself that you will work on the project
for just 15 minutes. Then you will move on to something
else. Set the timer and get to work. You may be inspired
to keep working.
BELIEVING
IN YOURSELF
What
if you believe that you can’t achieve what you
have set out to do? Sometimes we look at the achievements
of others and think that we can never be similarly
successful. We are intimidated by individuals who
appear to be overnight sensations, or have more resources
than we do.
Believing
that you can’t achieve something may be enough
to hold you back from even attempting it. The really
bad thing is that, if you believe you can’t,
you won’t. Don’t get caught up in believing
that you can’t be successful, or that you can’t
do what others have done.
Five
Strategies:
1.
Realize that we are all “normal” people.
We all have families, budgets and time constraints.
Nothing happens without work, and nothing is simply
handed to anyone, unless of course you’re Paris
Hilton – but even that empire comes with a price.
2.
Know that whatever you can think of is in your power
to achieve. It will take a plan, and action,
but you can do it.
3.
Take a look at where you are now and how you got there.
You took the necessary steps, right? So, you can start
making new plans and taking steps to get somewhere
else.
4.
Map out some goals for yourself for the next year.
Where do you want to be in a year? If you were successful,
what would your life look like?
5.
Take that vision and create action steps.
What will it take to get you where you want to go?
Be realistic, set attainable goals and go for it!
If
you have a vision for your life and can’t seem
to get there, or feel as though success is unattainable,
you are probably experiencing one of the blocks outlined
above. Always remember that you create your life.
Ask yourself, is it better to stay stuck in a situation
that doesn’t serve your goals, or to move forward
and experience fulfillment and joy? More than likely,
you’ll choose fulfillment and joy. Start taking
steps today to move toward that vision. Always be
gentle with yourself. You are not the only one who
struggles with these types of blocks.
The
important thing is, don’t push your feelings
down. Get them out on paper, give them space to breathe.
Look at them objectively and then make your plan and
move ahead!