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A
friend of mine went to a very fancy and expensive
weight loss clinic and spa in San Diego. She was impressed
with the exercise program and the enthusiastic aerobics
teachers, but the most important thing she learned
was to eat “mindfully.”
One
night after she finished a nourishing and delicious
vegetarian meal and the entrée dishes were
cleared away, she saw her waiter approaching her table
from across the dining room. Dramatically, he held
up a pedestal glass balanced on a plate. She wondered
what he could be bringing, as she knew she was on
the very low calorie diet at the spa. He placed the
delicate glass on the table. Leaves of flowers lined
the bottom of the stemmed bowl. A fern frond cascaded
down from the plate onto the table. Nestled in a bed
of dark green leaves were four frozen ruby-colored
grapes. The presentation was so beautiful and the
grapes so perfect they looked like a picture from
a gourmet magazine. My friend laughed and clapped
her hands like a child given an enchanting surprise.
She
ate each grape, slowly savoring the taste and enjoying
the display throughout. She noticed gentle music playing
in the background. She was aware of the coldness of
the grapes against her tongue and on the roof of her
mouth. Those grapes, she later told me, were the best
dessert she had ever had and probably involved the
fewest calories. She learned, as she mindfully ate
this small amount of food so artfully prepared and
presented, that she could appreciate in a much deeper
way the purpose of her eating. She could use her meal
as a meditation as she slowly chewed her food and
stayed in the moment. It was the most valuable lesson
she could have taken from the two-week retreat.
It’s
Not Just What You Eat , It’s How
We all know that we need to reduce our calorie intake
and exercise more to maintain a healthy weight. We
know WHAT we need to do, and there are thousands of
books on the market recommending a new diet regimen
or another sure-fire approach for losing weight. But
what we really need to know is HOW to carry out these
recommended lifestyle changes. By cultivating “mindfulness,”
or moment-to-moment awareness, you can begin to make
healthier choices in the realms of eating and exercise.
By reconnecting with the body’s innate wisdom
through meditation and daily quiet time, you will
be able to recommit over and over again to making
healthier choices for yourself.
Stay
in the Moment
You cannot make wise and healthy choices unless you
are present and aware. You cannot be a vigilant disciplinarian
if you are off fantasizing about what “should
be.” How many minutes (or, more probably, hours)
do you spend reliving the past, thinking about what
you should have done? "If only I had said that,
then he would have done that...” “If only
I hadn't eaten that, then I would be happier with
myself” ...and on and on. How much time do you
spend worrying about the future, predicting that you
will never be able to maintain a regular exercise
program or stay away from fried foods. How often,
when you lapse or make a bad choice, do you come to
the conclusion that all of your tomorrows are doomed?
Each
moment is unique and precious. It will never be repeated
again. It has nothing to do with the future or the
past. Being mindful simply means being awake to what
is happening right now.
For the rest of the day practice mindfulness. Really
notice how many times you think about things that
have already happened or that may never happen —
moments in time over which you have no control. As
soon as you notice that your attention is not in the
present moment, simply stop and say:
Breathing
in, I am aware of breathing in,
Breathing
out, I smile.
This
automatically brings your attention to the present
and allows your body and mind to come back into convergence.
Stop right now and try it:
Breathing
in, I am aware of breathing in,
Breathing
out, I smile
If
you do this on a regular basis you will immediately
become more aware of your choices. You will start
to fully participate in your life in present time.
You may be surprised at how your perceptions are heightened,
how you are more fully able to enjoy a conversation
with your child, a glimpse of fog rising off the sea,
or the taste of an orange.
Create
Mindful Moments
Anything you do in life, if done with awareness, can
be a meditation. I was practicing mindfulness while
washing dishes and was amazed at the feel of the warm
water on my hands, the opalescent sheen of the soap
bubbles in the dishpan. The pattern of the china that
I had seen so many times before seemed different,
clearer.
In
this fast paced, goal-driven, world we have difficulty
staying in the moment. Especially when eating. Eating
is rushed; often our attention is divided. We gulp
down a sandwich in the car or proofread a paper at
our desk while inhaling a taco. We certainly aren't
able to appreciate the flavor of what we are eating
when we are largely unaware of the process. What we
put in our body becomes more a matter of convenience
and automatic action. No wonder we don’t feel
satisfied.
Relish
Every Bite
Take time to choose what you eat and enjoy what you
eat. As my spa-going friend discovered, one piece
of fruit, if really savored, can be surprisingly satisfying
when eaten with attention and awareness.
Think of your attention as a beam of light. For most
of us, the beam is faint and we end up stumbling around
in the dark much of our life. As you utilize your
attention, as you hold your awareness to each moment,
just as it is, the light becomes stronger just like
a muscle when it is repeatedly flexed. Like a muscle,
mindfulness needs to be exercised to become stronger.
As you bring your attention back to each moment over
and over throughout the day, your light beam becomes
stronger until it operates like a laser beam cutting
through the layers of conditioning and personal lies
and limitations you have believed about yourself in
the past.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: For over 20 years, clinical psychologist
Dr. Judith McKay has taught hundreds
of patients about the psychological, emotional and
behavioral elements of weight loss and maintenance.
She has written numerous articles on various aspects
of enhancing awareness to establish healthier lifestyles,
and teaches “Mindful Living, Mindful Eating”
at the Scripps Center for Integrative Medicine in
La Jolla, California. Dr. McKay’s extensive
experience in mind/body healing includes stints at
the UCLA Pain Management Clinic, UCLA Boyer Cancer
Clinic, USC Medical Center Pain Management Institute
and the City of Hope National Medical Center. E-mail
Dr. McKay at judemc@cts.com.
