Girlfriends. Don’t ever take them for granted. That’s easy to do if work consumes your days and family, email, exercise, and other responsibilities eclipse your evenings. If your career demands travel or weekend “homework,” or if you’re busy trying to meet a man on line or shuttling kids, investing in women friends can quickly wind up on the bottom of your to-do list. And since a UCLA study showed that getting together with friends reduces stress by creating the oxytocin hormone that provides inner calm, investing in gal pals can be as important to your health as a good diet, exercise and ample sleep. (Resources: Women in Balance and Tend and Befriend)

Sometimes, the easiest place to find friends is at work. Inviting a colleague to lunch, coffee, a walk, or a weekend event is not only good for the soul, it helps builds camaraderie and trust. In fact, a well-known Gallup employee engagement study has shown that “having a best friend at work” is a real satisfier. (Resource: Manage Your Human Sigma)

Relying solely on work colleagues to fill your social life can be limiting. Sometimes you don’t want to even think about your job—and that’s tough to do when socializing with work buddies. Other times, you need to vent, but that can damage your image should your work friend slip up and make your frustrations and stresses known. And if you get promoted, you could end up managing the very people who have been your confidants, which may compromise your ability to lead. That’s all the more reason to keep and find girlfriends from other aspects of your life.

Do You Want to Be Friends?
Creating and cultivating girlfriends takes intention. You can’t just hope friends into existence. That means being on the lookout for women who might be a good match—and not letting opportunities to launch a relationship slip by. While it may feel awkward at first, it’s probably easiest to just be open about your desire to be friends with someone—or at least do something together to test the chemistry.

Weeks after Diane and her husband, Matt, moved from San Diego, CA, to the San Francisco Bay Area, Diane saw a woman about her age in the lobby. She purposely struck up a conversation, asking Linda if she liked to walk. The two became instant friends. How sad it would have been if she let that moment slip by.

Margaret hit a milestone birthday and realized that except for professional colleagues, her life lacked female friends. She decided to look for women with whom she felt a kindred spirit, and then one by one she asked these special ladies if they wanted to join her quest to find women with whom to enjoy life. Almost every one of them said yes!

Balance Baby!
If you’re in a love relationship, it’s natural to adore spending time with your soul mate, but if your partner works late, travels for business, plays or watches weekend sports, girlfriends who share your values can serve as a companion and confidant of a different kind. Quite frankly, they take the pressure off your lover and give you that work life balance we all yearn for.

Both of our husbands travel on business with trips overseas that gobble up weekend time together. When loneliness creeps in, girlfriends can take over—but only if you plan ahead and remain open to serendipity. Think a week or two out and proactively email, text message, or call to get adventures booked. And if you run into a friend who asks you to do something spur of the moment, grab the chance. Sometimes, personal well-being needs to trump the have-tos!

Most women have a need for female companionship—even if their lives seems brimming over with people and commitments. Don’t let the “she’s too busy” excuse keep you from forming a friendship. Recently, when Diane accepted an invitation for lunch, her new friend, Sonia, proudly showed her a wall of family photos. She stopped and reflected, “Although I have sisters and daughters, girlfriends and family are equally valuable to me. Not everyone fills you up in the same way.”

Friends, Like Diamonds, Are Forever
Whether you change jobs or move across the country, email, personal blogs, and social networks, like Facebook and Linked In, make it easier than ever to keep your friends. But it may take the occasional heart-to-heart phone call or face-to-face meeting to really connect. If you know you’ll be near by a long-lost friend, make contacting her a priority. It may be easier to blow it off, but if you do squeeze in time with friends, the dividends are huge.

Last year, Diane met a woman at work she knew would be a great new friend, so she proactively reached out and asked Katie if she wanted to do something. They enjoyed each other’s company twice, but then Katie accepted a new job in Seattle. Although they promised to stay in touch, eight months passed before an opportunity struck to reconnect when Diane went to Seattle on business. Although Katie’s email address had changed, Diane persevered and found Katie through work connections. In this case, intention was everything. The delightful reunion reminded Diane why she liked Katie so much, and she invited her to San Diego in the winter (on a weekend her husband would be traveling) as a respite from the dreary Seattle skies. Guess what Katie said? Yes, of course!!

All Friends Aren’t Best Friends
Many of us have the notion that you can only be friends with someone with whom you share intimate life details. But, it’s perfectly acceptable to have different friends for different aspects of your life—those with whom you walk, bike ride, dine, travel, commiserate by phone, or share a yoga class or book club. Some friends know every detail of your life; others know only the surface—but one’s not better than the other.

While a long-time friend may hold secrets from your past, newer friends don’t always need to know all the ins and outs of yesteryear. Over time, that may happen, but you can certainly have friends who don’t look backwards—and who are perfectly happy moving forward to create a new and special bond. And it’s those bonds that stick gal pals at the top of the must-haves of life!

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Diane Gage Lofgren

Diane Gage Lofgren is a writer and communications executive. She has written for scores of magazine articles and published eight nonfiction books, many focused on personal and business relationships.

Diane serves as senior vice president of Brand Strategy, Communications, and Public Relations for Kaiser Foundation Health Plan, Inc. and Kaiser Foundation Hospitals, the largest integrated delivery health system in the United States, based out of Oakland, CA. In this role, she leads and directs all work associated with stewardship and oversight of the Kaiser Permanente brand.

Margaret Bhola

Margaret Bhola, an associate with MorrisonMcNabb, has an extensive background in business, sales, marketing and human relations.

She has been a featured speaker and trainer at the national level.

Margaret has mentored Micro-Credit Foundations in expanding their presence from a local to global level. She is currently on the Board of the San Diego Women’s Foundation.