Why do we feel instantly attracted to some people and repelled by others? The people who attract us on first impression have something special. They exude an almost magical force. It’s a magnet that draws us to them. We might say they have “great energy” or charisma. Some call it “IT.” But, exactly what is this magical charisma? And if I don’t have IT, how do I get IT?

Here’s how I learned the answer.

It began when a friend, Mary Jane, and I enjoyed a dinner at The Brown Derby. We’d been talking about “IT” and measuring others in the restaurant with “IT” in mind. Just as the waiter took our order for dessert, Mary Jane looked at me and arched her eyebrow. “Well, Kaaren,” she paused and slowly let out a sigh. “I hate to tell you this, but you…you just don’t have ‘IT!’” Her words struck me with the force of truth.

Mary Jane said that “IT” was something that you were born with—or you were just flat out of luck. I answered that I wasn’t even sure what “IT” was, nor did I have any idea how to get it, but I was going to find “IT!” I just knew “IT” was something you could attain.

My journey of discovery took several years. I sharpened my observations. Studying people who possessed the magic of charisma became my passion. Since I was helping place people in jobs, my passionate hobby served their interests as well.

Along the way, I worked with image consultants. Sadly, many of the expensive items they recommended hung in my closet unworn. I had my colors done and my closets edited. Yet, why did I put some outfits on and immediately take them off again? They just didn’t feel right, but why? That was my burning question!

To further my knowledge, I jumped into education.
Anything—from “Body Language” to “The Chinese Art of Face Reading” to Feng Shui to Image Consulting—was on my agenda. Gradually, I integrated and implemented my new information.

Meanwhile, my friend Mary Jane had married and moved. I hadn’t seen her for three years, when I ran into her at Nordstrom’s one day and excitedly went over to say “Hi!” She looked at me with a cold stare. “Do I know you?” At first I thought she was teasing. Finally I told her who I was. Her jaw dropped. “Oh, my gosh,” she exclaimed, “You’ve got IT now!”

Vindication! “IT” is something anyone can attain!
My journey to the creation of Body Feng Shui changed my life and it can change yours. The first impressions you make are guaranteed to become dramatically different. It’s all about looking like yourself.

Body Feng Shui understands that every person has a signature energetic vibration. Every piece of clothing you wear has an energetic vibration. When your body’s energy and the energy of your clothing are in harmony, your authentic beauty comes forth. The synergy between you and your clothing unleashes your magical charisma. In Body Feng Shui, we apply your essential characteristics to your clothing. People see and relate to the deepest essence of you, the truth of your being.

Look at the two photos of myself. One was printed in a local newspaper when I was 33 years old—before Body Feng Shui. The other photo is 30 years later when I was 63. What’s your impression?

Body Feng Shui produced another unexpected benefit. Within two years of presenting my authentic self to the world, my income more than tripled. When any of us makes a better first impression, our career can soar.

How do you handle dressing every day? One approach I call “Looking Good.” Typically here, the clothing is what stands out. People may say, “Wow, that’s a great outfit…or bracelet…or…” “Looking Good” is about this year’s style. Fashion dictates: Here’s the mold. Fit in! And camouflage your faults! This year’s clothing, however, may create an immediate wall rather than opening a door to relationships, love and success.

The second option for many women is to give up the fight. To feel safe, they opt for basic black for work and parties, sweats with sneakers for every day. Oprah calls it the “Shlumpadinka” way. Just the sound of that phrase lets us know the kind of first impression it makes.

A third approach is to apply the energetic principles of Feng Shui to the body and how we dress. Feng Shui is the harmonious placement of objects in an environment to create a positive energy flow that attracts health, wealth, relationships, peace and wellbeing. We can do the same with our clothing.

Visualize this. You are meeting a petite older woman with very red hair, bright clothing with a large pattern, and huge dangly earrings. How do you feel? If you’ve ever met anyone like this, you’ve seen what I call “Visual Clutter.” Visual clutter creates so much distraction that it becomes difficult for you to see the person herself. Her clothing is doing all the talking! What kind of first impression would she make? Would she be approachable, intimidating or just plain avoidable?

To help you gain a clear visualization of being in harmony, imagine Gwenyth Paltrow as she is pictured in a current Estee Lauder perfume ad campaign. She has long, flowing hair, a soft pink blouse and is surrounded by lovely pastel flowers. Now picture Gwenyth when she accepted the academy award for “Shakespeare in Love.” Her hair was pulled back in a severe bun and she wore a pink, almost strapless dress. The tiny, linear straps on the dress added to her stark look. Fashion reporters had a field day making negative comments.

Soft and flowing styles are core principles for Gwenyth. Estee Laudee got it just right! And, her makeup is perfect as well. Check her photos online and see when she is approachable, intimidating or avoidable. If you explore photos of her wearing heavy black eyeliner during her Goth phase, you’ll see a very avoidable Gwenyth.

These images help us understand the power of Body Feng Shui to determine first impressions. To make that first impression work for you, the vital guiding concept is: be congruent with the real you.

To find your congruence, you must determine the core principle within you that best expresses your presence, your personality and your soul. The exact process is more complex than I can describe here. The bottom line: authenticity counts! Body Feng Shui relates your body and your being to your clothes.

For example, if you have a round face, and a bit of roundness everywhere else, the more round things you put on your body, the less round you will look—especially if you have a bubbly personality. Try shiny gold round earrings and a necklace with circles, and relate them to your size. Wearing round to counteract round contradicts our common opinion because we’ve been fed so many ideas about camouflaging ourselves. You may be gasping at this possibility, but I promise, it’s true. Round on round brings you to harmony with the real you.

When you map your body and use it to guide your style, you will be on your way to making smashing first impressions. For example, if you have freckled skin and coarse, wavy hair, then smooth, shiny jewelry and clothing will stand out like Broadway lights. People will see the shiny and be distracted from seeing you. You can only be approachable if they see you without visual clutter.

Matte finishes, copper or burnished gold jewelry are in harmony with freckled skin and textured auburn hair. If your hair and skin are smooth, then smooth surfaces resonate well with you. Always wear fabric and accessories with texture and shine similar to your hair and skin. In Body Feng Shui, this is an energetic principle—and there are many more.

At first glance, are you approachable, intimidating, or avoidable? Are you wearing your clothes, or are your clothes wearing you? Body Feng Shui makes sure your first impressions are magnetic. It’s wonderful when you experience the magical charisma and power of having “IT.”

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Kaaren Henderson is an innovator, successful businesswoman, public speaker, and author. She developed a passionate interest in what she now calls Body Feng Shui over ten years ago. It made profound changes in her life. Throughout her many experiences, Kaaren knows how quickly others form judgments about us based on our outward appearance. She loves seeing everyone know how powerful and how beautiful (or handsome) they truly are! For more information see Body Feng Shui.