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During
a meeting between the corporate marketing team and business
development group at a company I was researching for my
book Tempered Radicals, several people were talking
at once about a potential acquisition. A few times a new
member of the marketing group offered her concerns about
distributing the new business's products outside the country.
People continued to talk as if she hadn't said
anything. Ten minutes after her last attempt to raise
the issue, one of her senior colleagues voiced the same
concerns. Everyone stopped talking and turned their attention
to his issues. All of a sudden these concerns were the
focus of the conversation, and the man who voiced them
led the discussion. The woman stayed silent.
Jake,
one of the managers in business development who preferred
not to make waves, just couldn't believe that no one else
was aware of what had happened. Never so blatantly had
he witnessed the silencing of a woman—as it happened,
an Asian American woman. After a few minutes, he stepped
in and said, "I just have to understand something
here. Can you explain why this issue is so important and
why the one Carol raised ten minutes ago was not worth
talking about? I just want to understand this."
Questioning
a statement or asking for clarification of a behavior,
as Jake did, is one effective way to name what is going on. Sometimes
calling attention to people's behavior can change it.
At least it makes them aware of what is really happening
and makes it clear that their actions have consequences
for others. Carol could have done the same on her own
behalf, but it would have been riskier in most circumstances,
and may not have had the same impact.
In
this situation, Jake had the advantage of not being seen
as personally invested in this incident; thus he was able
to play a critical role in turning the encounter and challenging
what was going on. The position of third-party bystander
can be an incredibly powerful place from which to intervene
and make a difference on behalf of others, providing that
the intervention does not further silence or subordinate
the wronged individuals. There are probably men in your
workplace who are unaware this dynamic is taking place,
who would be willing to assist. Ask for their help.
See
WomensMedia's
Latest Articles.
Debra
E. Meyerson is the author of Tempered Radicals
- How People Use Difference to Inspire Change at Work,
published by Harvard Business School Press, 2001, and
co-author of the widely circulated "Modest Manifesto for
Shattering the Glass Ceiling," Harvard Business Review,
Jan. 2000. She is associate professor at Stanford’s
School of Education and faculty at Stanford’s Graduate
School of Business. Debra is currently on leave, but can
be reached at debmeyerson@earthlink.net.
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