A
new Platinum Rule is:
Do
unto others as they would like done unto them.
People
are different. We
need to understand those differences and act in a
way that maximizes the value of the differences. When
we “do unto others as we would have them do unto us,”
we are saying everyone should be treated in the same
way we want to be treated. This
assumes and values only similarities.
Since there are differences between the genders
and differences among individuals, treating people
as they want to be treated respects differences as
well as similarities.
When
frustration is decreased and issues resolved, different
strengths add value to what people have in common. The added value to a business comes from utilization of a broader
range of ideas and competencies.
Why
Close the Gender Gap?
Because
not only is it the right thing to do, it’s also good
for business. Bringing more women into upper management—closing
the gender gap— increases the viewpoints and leadership
methods available to the business.
Different
Voices from Different Worlds
With
few exceptions, gender issues in today’s workplace
can be traced to the different ways men and women
perceive the world. When women and men perceive the
world differently, they think, talk, make decisions
and take action differently.
These different styles and approaches are to
a large extent caused by the different social influences
exerted on men and women as they are growing up.
Because
most organizations have been established by men and
are directed primarily by men, the prevailing organizational
culture is more in alignment with most men’s styles
and approaches, rather than with most women’s styles
and approaches.
By
understanding the different perceptions and behaviors
of women and men and how they can cause misunderstandings,
we can:
The
chart below, “Different Voices from Different Worlds,"
provides a guideline for understanding traditional
differences between men’s and women’s cultures and
perceptions. Increasingly people are becoming “bilingual.”
That is, they are versed in and draw on both
men’s and women’s world views.
When we understand these differences we can
have extra insight into what must be done to close
the Gender Gap.
Different
Voices from Different Worlds*
This
chart summarizes cultural root causes of behaviors
of many men and many women.
|
World
View: |
Individualistic
(most men)
|
Relational
(most women) |
|
Views
Job Performance as: |
Transactors
|
Transformers |
|
|
Series
of transactions with others in which they exchange
rewards for services rendered or administer
punishment to inadequate performers |
Getting
others to transform their own self-interests
|
|
|
Taking
action based on highest priority |
Systems
thinking:
looking at context and all factors before
taking action |
|
|
Fighting
fires |
Preventing
Fires |
|
|
Decision-making
driven by logic |
Decision-making
driven by values |
|
|
Working
through problem-solving alone |
Problem-solving
by communication and talking it out with others |
|
Perceives,
Thinks, and Speaks: |
Independence
|
Interdependence
|
|
|
Competition
|
Relationship
|
|
|
Hierarchy |
Network/Connection |
|
|
Rules/Rights |
Flexible
Guidelines/Responsibility |
|
|
Either/Or |
Both/And |
|
|
Regards
events as isolated/discrete |
Considers
events within a context, linking one to the
next |
|
|
Information
is power, share as needed |
Information
empowers people, sharing creates new information
and connection |
|
|
“I
know” |
“I
(empathize) understand” |
|
|
Goal
orientation |
Process
orientation |
Uses
Language to: |
Report
on Events |
Establish
rapport |
|
|
Negotiate:
-
Who
wins/Who loses
-
Who’s
up/Who’s down
-
Power
|
Negotiate:
-
Making
connections
-
How
we all win
-
Policy
|
|
|
Problem
Solve |
Expand
and understand relationship of all things to
come to a solution |
|
Language
of Emotion:
Greatest
Fear:
|
-
OK
to express anger, aggression and rage
-
Not
OK to express tears, fear, pain, tenderness,
and emotion
-
Works
through by problem-solving, alone
Being
shown to be incompetent |
-
OK
to express tears, fear, pain, tenderness,
and emotion
-
Not
OK to express anger, aggression and rage
-
Works
through by communicating, talking it out
with others
Isolation
|
A
word of caution:
Use these as guidelines rather than as rules
or stereotypes, since not all men or women adhere
to these views.
*
The information for this chart has been taken from
research by experts in linguistics, anthropology,
sociology, and business.
Bonita
Banducci is Director of Gender Culture for
WomensMedia. She also teaches Unmasking the Gender Effect
in the Engineering Workplace for Santa Clara University’s
Department of Engineering Graduate Program. She is co-author
of the Executive Handbook for the Royal Bank of Canada,
Making the Differences Work: Closing the Gender Gap—What
We Can Do, distributed to employees, vendors, and customers
as a guideline for the bank’s commitment. A Silicon
Valley Fortune 500 company recently commissioned Bonita’s
study: What is the Contribution Women Make that could
be the Strategic Advantage in the Global Marketplace.
Ms. Banducci has consulted and led workshops for corporate,
governmental, and educational institutions including
Sun Microsystems, the Environmental Protection Agency,
and University of San Francisco.
Women's
Equality and Equity