Walking into a room full of people, especially strangers, is daunting for 93% of American adults according to the Stanford Shyness Clinic. Yet, our careers, businesses and social lives are enhanced by our ability to create visibility as we meet, mingle, interact and make connections. For over 18 years, How To Work A Room® continues to be the resource for the busy professional who has to attend events.

I have been asked numerous times, "Who is better at this, men or women?" My answer always is that women are better, we are more interactive, will go over to the person standing alone even if they themselves are nervous and will try to make that person comfortable. Because we generally are the keepers of relationships, we will introduce people to each other and help them get a conversation started. But there are considerations. There are times where there may be few other women, the men seem to be in cliques of long time associates or the stories being told are "not our cup of tea."

When we hear stories, jokes or comments that don't appeal to us, we can change the subject, just give that "look" (the one I used as a sixth grade teacher when the students were out of line) or just offer a telling silence. This isn't the time for the lecture or admonition. Another option is to excuse yourself and find a more fitting group.

Working a room is circulating, connecting and conversing with a number of people at any event. We build rapport and begin to build the trust that is the foundation of any business or personal relationship. And then the networking begins, as that is the follow-up that cements our connections.

Before you attend any event, do some due diligence. It's so easy to do that today. Just visit the web site, read any literature, do a search and pay attention to the group goals, mission and its members. Read the local and a national paper and prepare three to five items to talk about with the other people. You may not need the items but at least you have them in your "banter" back pocket book. Be ready to listen because people tell us what they want to discuss. We often are not listening and then wonder what to say next.

The venue, event theme, and the location all jumpstart a conversation. It will start with small talk. Get over any negative attitudes about small talk as it the biggest talk you'll do. Sir Alex Korda, a legendary producer said, "A bore is someone without any small talk." When we start small, then we magically move to topics of greater importance. We bond more easily when we are having relaxed conversations: a similar taste in movies, daughters on the soccer team or an interest in wines or gourmet food. Once we find that magical connector the conversation shifts and the connection is solidified.

Whether it's for Holiday parties this year or next: These eight strategies will work for you in any room.

Read Name Tags. As you extend your hand and introduce yourself, use the person's name. Name tags provide material for conversation about that person. Wear yours on the right hand side. It's the line of sight with an extended handshake and makes it easier to speak.

Reintroduce Yourself to People. If you forgot their name, most likely they forgot yours. People generally respond in kind and then no one has to struggle with forgotten names. Come prepared with 7-9 second pleasantry that is tied to the event. Practice it so that it slips off your tongue easily.

Look for the White-Knuckled Drinker. Whether it's club soda or wine, the shy, uncomfortable person who has the glass gripped so tightly would welcome your conversations.

Attend Events with a "Buddy." Choose someone in a non-competitive field and cross-promote as you introduce each other.

Warning: Be sure to choose a companion who will introduce you with the same level of enthusiasm that you have demonstrated. And avoid being velcroed together as people won't interrupt two people who are involved in a conversation.

Extricate and Circulate. According to Miss Manners, one must learn to end conversations. "Well it was great to talk to you about…." Summarize the main thrust of your chat . . . and move about one quarter of the room away. No sense in standing in the same area near the person you just left. Find another solo or. . . join a group. Stand on the periphery of the group and when acknowledged, step in.

Allow for Serendipity. It is the unexpected bonus that happens to you because of good timing. Because . . . "Ya Never Know!" which is my theory of marketing, meeting and mingling.

Have Fun! People are attracted to others who are enjoying themselves. A sense of humor will help you manage and survive myriad situations because laughter is a great medicine.

BONUS Tip: Leave your tools and toys of technology out of sight or in the off or vibrate position. The message you give when you "work" a room with your Bluetooth attached to your ear is that no one you are talking to is as important as whoever may call you. That leaves an impression but not the one you may want to make.

To Be Avoided At All Costs:

These are some of the behaviors which readers have found to be annoying. They are to be avoided in any room: complaining, interrupting, one upping, correcting, using sarcasm, hogging the floor, telling way too many jokes, interrogating (too many questions sound suspect).

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From the newly revised bestseller, How To Work A Room® by author and sought -after keynote speaker. Susan RoAne is the nation's undisputed and leading networking and communication expert who gets people up on their feet meeting and mingling. Her books are now available in local and online bookstores. For more information, free articles and The Schmooze Quotient Quiz, visit www.susanroane.com

How to Work a Room, Revised Edition:
Your Essential Guide to Savvy Socializing

by Susan RoAne