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Want to know more?Listen
to this (always less than 10 minutes):
Is It OK
If Big Girls Cry In The Office? —Business
and Emotions (In Control) Are A Good Mix or read it here.
Listen
to this (always less than 10 minutes):
Stereotypes,
Not Differences, Are Holding Women Back —Are
Mars-Venus Stereotypes Barriers To Women’s Advancement?
or read it here.
Crying
at the Office
Nancy Clark, CEO, WomensMedia
Nearly
every female executive I’ve talked with has admitted to
crying at work. Their stories usually follow this same pattern:
I
burst into tears—early in my career—and was mortified
at what I was doing. I had lost complete control of myself.
It didn’t matter what other people thought of me as much
as what I thought of myself. I have to make sure this NEVER
happens again! Each woman then began to develop her own techniques
to put into action whenever she felt this might start happening
again. And the good news here is that the high-level executives
I talked with said they’ve learned to control this behavior.
The
men observing tearful outbursts were extremely uncomfortable
and in a quandary about what an appropriate response is in the
workplace. At home, they might hug the woman, but not at work.
Some men reacted by staring at their paperwork and some tried
patting the woman on the back. In a few instances, men said
they wondered if they were being manipulated.
A
woman observing an outburst does not approve of it either. She
thinks the other woman should have more control.
I
know how much women want to learn techniques they can put into
action whenever this might happen. I know because they emailed
WomensMedia in huge numbers when we asked if they wanted information
on “Crying at the Office.” We then asked a psychotherapist
(Linda Poverny) and an executive coach (Susan Picascia) to work
together to write an article for WomensMedia. They advised women
to:
I
know how much women want to learn techniques they can put into
action whenever this might happen. I know because they emailed
WomensMedia in huge numbers when we asked if they wanted information
on “Crying at the Office.” We then asked a psychotherapist
(Linda Poverny) and an executive coach (Susan Picascia) to work
together to write an article for WomensMedia. They advised women
to:
1.
Anticipate emotionally charged situations and prepare
your responses
2.
Increase your self-awareness. Try to figure out if
you’re crying because you’re actually angry. If
that’s the case, take a deep breath and focus on solving
the problem that’s making you angry. Re-focusing on the
problem will help you calm down.
3.
Women often cry when they feel overwhelmed with work
or if their efforts go unrecognized. The advice here to seek
out a mentor or a coach to help you. Learn to cultivate a sense
of optimism—to realize things generally work out.
4.
Compartmentalize — If you frequently cry at the
office, your personal life may be intruding on your business
life. Create a boundary between the two. And seek support to
help you in your personal life.
5.
Women are sensitive to personal criticism. Even though
this hurts, learn to retrain yourself. You might try focusing
on your breathing and using relaxation techniques to slow down
your reactions and gain control.
6.
Another technique is to focus on Content instead of the Criticism.
For example, comment on how you can the reports in
more quickly rather than on the remark about “You’re
too slow.”
7.
And if you must, excuse yourself from the room. We advise women
to say, “Excuse me. I’d like to finish
this discussion tomorrow.” Then, put on your sunglasses
and leave the office for a while.
Want
to know more?Listen
to this (always less than 10 minutes):
Is It OK
If Big Girls Cry In The Office? —Business
and Emotions (In Control) Are A Good Mix or read it here.
Listen
to this (always less than 10 minutes):
Stereotypes,
Not Differences, Are Holding Women Back —Are
Mars-Venus Stereotypes Barriers To Women’s Advancement?
or read it here.
Quotes
by Nancy Clark
CEO, WomensMedia
“Men
and women aren’t planets apart, but their stereotypes sure are!”
—Nancy Clark
“Don’t
match the stereotype. Be the new one.”
—Nancy Clark
“Honor
your talents and act like a woman—a smart woman—who knows how to
jump over business obstacles, even in heels.”
—Nancy Clark
"The
nature-nurture question is muddied by stereotypes."
—Nancy Clark
“The
time is right for women in business. Learn to avoid the remaining obstacles
and the glass ceiling will cease to exist!”
—Nancy Clark
“The
playing field is being leveled, even for those players
wearing heels!”
—Nancy Clark
“When
both women and men bring their strengths to the workplace, business benefits.”
—Nancy Clark
"The
good news for women is that business now wants
collaborative leadership, relationship skills, sharing of information, and win/win
negotiation—skills that come easily to most women."
—Nancy Clark
"In
today’s male business culture, a woman needs to have a few more tools
than a man, but fortunately for us, we carry a purse."
—Nancy Clark
“Men
are changing when women are negotiating the second shift.”
—Nancy Clark
"The
saying 'Nice girls don’t ask!' is yesterday’s advice for business.
Today’s advice is 'Women ask, and ask,
and appreciate what they get.' ”
—Nancy Clark
“Men
will help us remove gender stereotypes,
because they’re out of date, and because they’re bad for business.”
—Nancy Clark
Television,
Radio, Seminar, Keynote
Nancy
Clark, author of upcoming book Working
in Heels, speaks to television and
radio audiences:
What
Women Can Do and What Men Can Do to
Work Better Together
We're
Waking Up: It's Been 77 Cents for the Last Ten Years!
Keynote
for Women's Audience:
The
Tipping Point in Favor of Women
Keynote
for All Audiences:
What
CEO's Want to Know: What Do Women Want?
The
New York Times: Big
Girls Don't Cry
ABC
News: Crying at the Office
The
Wall Street Journal:
DropTiresome "Rules" for Women at the Top
See
Nancy
Clark at  .
The
Learning Annex catalogs reach more than 10 million
people. Check listings for the following cities: New York,
Chicago, Seattle, San Francisco, Los Angeles, San Diego,
Montreal, Toronto, Edmonton, Calgary, and Vancouver.
About
the Speaker:
Nancy
Clark is the CEO of WomensMedia, the #1 Site
for Working Women. As a well-known expert on Gender in
the Workplace, she has been requested to speak at conferences,
businesses, and even at the Pentagon.
See
WomensMedia's
Latest Articles.
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