We can look at the Panama Canal as an analogy for effective listening skills. Massive gates hold back the higher water from the next gate with a lower water level. The pressure builds up and when the gate is opened, the flow is in one direction. We can compare this scene to the state of mind of an individual suffering from deep emotional wounds, or involved in a serious interpersonal conflict. If she’s holding in her emotions, she needs a release. At this point, she’s unlikely to think clearly about the challenge or to be receptive to input from another.

Girlfriends. Don’t ever take them for granted. That’s easy to do if work consumes your days and family, email, exercise, and other responsibilities eclipse your evenings. If your career demands travel or weekend “homework,” or if you’re busy trying to meet a man on line or shuttling kids, investing in women friends can quickly wind up on the bottom of your to-do list. And since a UCLA study showed that getting together with friends reduces stress by creating the oxytocin hormone that provides inner calm, investing in gal pals can be as important to your health as a good diet, exercise and ample sleep.