Life coaches are springing up on the Internet like daisies after a rain. And joining the mix are increasing numbers of “cyber-counselors”—therapists who do much of their counseling by e-mail and through other electronic media.

If you still think it’s necessary to travel to someone’s office to get professional help with problems and decisions, welcome to the new world of helping relationships, where legions of professional and self-styled helpers are ready, willing and (to varying degrees) able to assist you over the phone or computer from anywhere in the world.

Cyber-counselors and telephone coaches can help you solve your problems and achieve your dreams, but rarely if ever will they witness the pain in your eyes, the smile on your face or the trembling of your hands. Whether you consider that an advantage or disadvantage, it’s one of a number of things to consider when choosing a helper. Another is the distinction between counselors, coaches and mentors.

Counselors

Counselors, social workers and psychologists have a minimum of two years training, including intense laboratory work and supervised internships. If they have credentials (which many states require), they’ve logged hundreds of supervised hours in clinic, counseling center and/or hospital settings. They’ve studied human behavior, learned powerful communication skills and practiced a variety of intervention techniques.

Counselors often specialize, so you’ll find couples counselors, child and adolescent therapists, family counselors, grief counselors, drug counselors, career counselors and employment counselors, to name a few.

Since present behavior is often strongly influenced by past experiences, counselors and therapists are usually interested in your history. Depending on your reasons for seeking help, you might be encouraged to examine the past in some detail—to discover the roots of certain behavior patterns, buried feelings and other clues to what’s going on in your life today. At some point, or perhaps intermittently, the emphasis will shift to the present—to solving problems, changing behavior, setting and achieving goals, or whatever your particular issues and circumstances warrant.

Fees vary and many health plans provide coverage. For more information, visit the American Counseling Association at www.counseling.org, or contact a referral service in your area.

Coaches

Coaching is a relatively new profession, so there is no widely accepted body of knowledge and skills that coaches share, though this is changing as coaches become better organized and adept at monitoring their own ranks. Presently, coaches can be “certified” after as little as a few weekends of training, though many come to the job because they enjoy and are already skilled at helping others. Executive coaches are likely to be current or former management consultants with plenty of business savvy.

Coaches are action oriented. Most discourage clients from dwelling on past failures and painful childhood experiences. They will urge you to focus on the present and the future, to set realistic goals, to overcome obstacles that might get in your way, and to practice effective behaviors in the here and how. Many are also motivational speakers, which means they specialize in “lighting fires” under audiences. Coaching is a natural extension of that role, plus working with individuals allows coaches to keep the motivational fires burning longer—until they actually produce results.

The International Coaches Federation (ICF) www.coachfederation.org provides a coaching referral service. You specify the concerns you want to address, the background and qualifications of the coach you’re looking for and a fee arrangement that will work for you. The service returns a list of coaches who meet those specifications.

Fees for weekly half-hour coaching sessions range from about $250 to several hundred dollars a month. The price tag for executive coaching is generally higher.

Know What You’re Getting

Most coaches claim they never attempt to do therapy—that if a client is in emotional pain, mired in fallout from some childhood trauma, or has any other serious problem, they will quickly bow out in favor of a qualified counselor or therapist. In practice, the line between coaching and counseling is less distinct. Coaches counsel and counselors coach. So treat the selection as you would an important hiring decision. Know what you want and check out the experience, training and credentials of the helpers you interview.

A Word About Mentors

If it’s career nurturing and advancement you’re looking for, you might profit most from a mentor—someone in your field who has successfully negotiated a career path similar to yours and is willing to share accumulated wisdom and experience. Mentoring relationships often develop spontaneously, but there’s nothing that says you can’t deliberately search for and select a person well qualified and positioned to further your career. A number of companies and organizations sponsor mentoring programs.

The Bottom Line

Regardless of which category of helper you choose, if the Internet is your primary medium of communication, make sure that the technology supports both privacy and secure online payments. Finally, consider these suggested guidelines:

Choose a COUNSELOR/THERAPIST if you want help…

• Solving serious personal problems
• Getting through crisis situations
• Dealing with depression or emotional pain
• Resolving marital problems (a couples or marriage counselor)
• Resolving family or child-rearing problems (a family counselor)
• Changing careers (a career counselor)

Choose a LIFE COACH if you want help with…

• Setting personal goals
• Staying motivated and on target
• Making changes in your life
• Mastering challenging life transitions

Choose an EXECUTIVE COACH if you want help with..

• Setting business goals and making business decisions
• Motivating yourself and others to achieve business goals
• Becoming a more effective leader
• Steering your company in desired directions

Find a MENTOR if you want…

• A career role-model to emulate
• An advocate who will help further your career
• Guidance in developing job skills
• A knowledgeable guide through the maze of your particular industry or profession

About the Author

Dianne Schilling is a writer, editor, graphic artist and instructional designer who specializes in the development of educational materials and customized training programs for business and industry. She holds a masters degree in counseling and is a founding partner of WomensMedia.com Send e-mail to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .